Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I've been a bit stressed today. Everything is piling up, yet I am turning from frustration (making a conscious choice) and finding solace in my blog. Despite what connotations bankruptcy carries, isn't that the truest form of being a steward? Ultimately accepting responsibility at the utmost level?

My thoughts were jumbled earlier; convoluted with visions of my pending bankruptcy, the frustrations and allusions of financial failure
from calling all the loan folks, from realizing I only own a single TV (freshly broken and irreplaceable), and the overwhelming bleak outlook of being a bankrupt young thirty-something who should be courting success instead of this.

My thoughts turn inexplicably to optimism. I mean, haven't people blown their own brains out over stuff like this? Yet, despite these macabre suppositions, I find myself thinking objectively. I find myself writing paragraphs like the one below. I find hope in myself and my wife and kids. This too shall pass.

My overwhelming thought:

The thing about mania is proximity; either how close you are to a situation or how closely you are observing the same situation. If you can leverage taking a step back long enough to grab a few breaths of unpolluted air, it can force perspective. A clearer head will prevail; proximity is never a lasting situation, even in death.

-Jay Blair
8.25.09

1 comment:

DavidPaystrup said...

Hang in there Jay. You'll get through it. I stared bankruptcy in the face at one point. I was able to reprioritize my finances, roll my debt elimination plan and start digging myself out. But I've been there with the monotony of the creditor calls. I can't tell you how many times, I'd come home and the answering machine was full.

Bankruptcy or not, you'll get through it. I want to commend you for you positive attitude. That's what will make the diffence. To flip a cliche on it's head. That light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train. It's eventual freedom. Hang in there my friend.