Monday, August 20, 2007

The First Day of Forever

I start with NetApp today, in a few (61) minutes to be exact. What am I feeling? Slight aprehension, yes, due mostly to the unknown (not due to feelings of incapacity). I am hopeful, cognizant, open-hearted and minded to this new oportunity, a tad excited to stay sanitarily sparkling clean in my labors (versus becoming sweaty and smelly), and oddly a bit out of place. For six months I have been a night walker, sleeping in the daytime, living at night and the wee hours of morning, finding myself operating under the false light existence of halogen lamps in a warehouse environ of the 24 hour workday. Four of the past five days have allowed me some acclimation, so the shock of rising with the rising sun is minimized somewhat, but I still feel like a part of me is cringing, beliving they are to wither away in the daylight.

Instead, here I am. It's 08:05 now, the stomach is rumbling a bit for it's morning fare (although the nachos I ate last night when Dan and I went for the impromptu motorcycle ride out to visit my sis Beth, her hubby Jody and their two boys Taylor and Mason surely left me with enough sustenance as it was post 9 pm nosh). The dog is pout on the landing, most likely squinting in the morning sun, I hear his feet padding on the planking, impatient to come back in and eat his breakfast. Yesterday I got after him a bit more harsly than usual and he walked around me quite unlike himself more than usual. A man can only take having his strawberries dug up so much, and the poor dog has been at them near a dozen times this summer. The thing which set me upon him with a bum swat and a large lecture (involving him being told to sit and stay for near ten minutes), was a hole dug in the grass and a ruinous chewing on Madolin's bottle. His poor ears had positively wilted after the tongue-lashing I gave him, and he crept about me wondering if I wished he had never been born.

So I need to call him in in a moment, give him an extra scratching behind the ears, and his morning breakfast. Boston Terriers are notorious for being sensitive to the moods of their owners. Emotional dogs if you will.

08:13 now, and b'fast is calling. Here's to a new day and a new job!

-Jay

Friday, August 10, 2007

So I am Job hunting.

Mostly because I am burt out on working graveyard shifts, but also because I believe the ensuing circus of rules and drama from an environment based on Union labor agreements is asinie. It creates and fosters hostility by pitting the Union leaders against the management and by creating odd rules like being able to file a greivance (for example, Joe called in sick to work and his 600 parcels still needed to be sorted. Betty has a different job description, but she did Joes work because the boss asked her to. When Joe comes back to work he can file a complaint, or greivance, because Betty was doing his work. Joe gets paid penalty money for the greivance as well. Talk about a tangled web). I also see 59-60 year old men who are retiring from the USPS from 30 years of clerk work. They walk about like cripples. No thank you. So, I hunt.

I went back to my old place of employ, and had two interviews. I also had a phone interview and may head back there, albeit not as a manager, but as a technician who troubleshoots (see http://www.netapp.com/ ).

For an undegree'd lout like me, who is struggling in the throes of lower-median income, the USPS provides what Medicaid considers an "excess of income." Melissa and I tried to get Medicaid to cover the birth of our 3rd child, but they replied that with the OT I was working, it was not an option. It is a bit of a quandry then, as we still rent, yet trying to burst through the glass ceiling and get into a house keeps slipping away. "Have less babies" you might say. "Go back to school" you might knowingly chivvy. We are making progress. Gone is the Jay who would put something on credit, long gone after paying off each balance and burning each of those cards gleefully. In truth my better half and I are very close to becoming first time home owners. It just hurts when knowing the good old government teet is available for folks who make 5K less a year for covering the costs of L&D. Also, I believe more babies and schooling are in my cards. So boo!

Yes, I have been stressing out about it a little lately. And the job, and the hot apartment, and the tomatoes being picked (all of them) by my obstinate and very cute two year-old, and that I am being asked to be an assistant ward clerk, and that my landlord keeps baiting us along with promises to fix things, but never does.

Whew. That's a lot of pent up emotions. I feel better.

Thankfully, there are moments of beauty in all this ruckus. Like last night for example. My younger brother Dan and I rode our motorcycles over the Alpine loop at 1:30 this am. The milky way was so bright when we stopped at the summit trailhead that I could almost touch it. The date Melissa and I went on on Wednesday night, a movie at PTC to see Bourne Ultimatum, then just tooling around afterwards for about 30 minutes. That same night, being able to write and edit a bit in my book. Then Thursday again, catching my Father in Law who is out of town in Seattle on a business trip, & talking before he went to sleep. Finally, sleeping in this am and yesterday (and every day since I work so late--Thank you Melissa!).

These are some of the things which I am thankful for.

Most of all, I thank my Heavenly Father for my health--so I can go and do and work and hope and think and breathe, and be. So this life I live can be utilized to try to move forward. So my family can have bread on the table, and garnish it with a digital camera, some oreos, icecream, beds, W/D, a new Mirowave, new silverware, new plates, a new (to us) car with a 3rd row of seating, a dog, tomatoes to pick, chairs to sit on, a roof overhead, and hope for the future.

I don't know where exactly I'll end up fitting in jobwise as of 16:39 today, but I have faith that Heavenly Father will lead me to where I can not only be happy and satisfied, but that it will be a job where I can provide and prosper my family. So I am content. Faith proceeds the miracle, and we are paying our tithing. It is in God's hands.

-Jay

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Work Sucks and Then You Blog

I woke up after another "night" of ten hours sleep to Melissa looking at some blogs belonging to her friends. There were lots of them. I came to the conclusion that some folk must live to blog, and probably are the same ones who wear shirts that declare 'Live To Blog' or some such.

I just blog. Sporadic, not very insightful or crammed with receipes, maybe some of my weirdly perceived altruisms, or a declarartion or two, perhaps a yawp or three. Basically, the blog format for me is an allowance for thre metaphorical B.M. I can write and let the words blossom and come to fruition, then pass on to another idea or thought or comment on an erudite idea.

For that, the blog is fantastic.

Ad on top of it all, folk who know me can view it and comment--calling me out for posting shyte, or supporting a thought with a thought of their own.

So, this lil blogger, who doesn't live to blog, simply blogs. Amen!

Back to the title of my posting. Ugg. Work is hard. I sleep alot. I am thankful for being able to provide for my family, and shouldn't murmur, Lemuel-like, but I do. I try to minimize the murmuring, realizing that we are working to getting ahead, but I feel like I am in a bit of a catch-22. I am a casual employee, and to become a regular, I need to take a test and score at least in the 90th percentile. If I pass, I could get hired on and make $5 more an hour for the exact same work I currently do . I woud really like to move out from my airconditionless and unrepaired-except-for-what-I-fix apartment, but am a tad intimidated at the fact that housing is so damnned expensive. Even if I get a modest POS home, for example the one I rode my motorcycle 30 miles to look at last night, which was inhabited by folk I could only identify as crackers, and needed new everything, I'd be paying 1,100 a month. That was for a home built in 1902, right next to commercial businesses, and needing at the least, new roof, new walls, new insulation, new windows at the cost of $149,900. Ouchie.

So I have been a bit sad to realize that home ownership is going to come at a very big sacrifice to Melissa and myself. We've been preparing, paying off and closing out 4 of our outstanding bills/cards.

I need to remember that old addage, 'Rome wasn't built in a day', and remember too that Rome was built by slave labor. Just kidding. Patience is the key. So I shall finish with the words from a Hymn which you just might recognize:

"Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side; with patience bear thy cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide; in ev'ry change he faithful will remain. Be still my soul: thy best thy heavn'ly Friend. Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

Love you all, thanks for reading my blog.

Jay