Thursday, July 26, 2007

My Soul's Declaration of Security

If it is to be, it is up to me. I will not shirk responsibility. I will not leave my family. I will stand at my post, and accept my calling--husband, father, son, friend. I will live my life and be exceptional. I feel that God has marked me to do something that will bless my life and the lives of all my family. If I will heed the spirit, and do what I feel to be Gods will for me, then he will make something of the clay of me, the essence and mean and material of what makes me, me. I will not go quietly into that dark night! I will stand and allow my Heavenly Father to shape me into something exceptional. I choose to do my best, that when the scythe comes whistling through the grass with a sound of dread, I may stand tall and know that I am more than I am here, this flesh and organ and hope. I have in me the clay taken by the gods from the amphorae—one handful of good and one of ill, yet tempered by the spark of the spirit, the One True God’s spirit in me.

I am not afraid of love. I am not afraid of loving others, allowing then to come so very close to my heart and hurt it and hurt me. Christ was the one who showed me that I don’t have to be afraid, that this body of dust and motes will be resurrected. That all sin stems from pride—foolishness over lust, greed, selfishness, fear, untruth. If I know that I can fight it with love, what can stand in my way?

If I am truly open as Heavenly Father sees me, if I allow all men to see God through my eyes, how shall I act? Can I reflect His image?

I was born to greatness. Heavenly Father expects a certain success from me, both temporally and spiritually. If I lie to myself, and think "drifing through life" is the answer God has for me, I will miss out on these things. I will not know the joys He has for me now, and in the eternities to come. I am laying the foundation of a mighty work in my own life. In my former life, I laid these stones in spirit, now it is time to physically wrestle them into place, to chip at them with sore and bloodied hands, to shape them, form them from their rounded worn faces into the ashlar which will strenghten and shore up genera of my people—reaching infinitely far forward, and streching equidistant back. My Father in Heaven desires for me to become a steward who knows who He is, who myself is, and to excel using this knowledge and the talents He gave me.

I know in my heart that Heavenly Father, knowing what his children would do and face, gave each of us a soul like a satchel. As we came to earth, he handed us our bodies (and this with our spirirt makes up the soul), and a carefully selected knot of problems. We took these, along with the gifts he gave also (those that we may have learned in that premortal realm, and those we would be allowed to learn here). “These” he said to each of us, blessing us as we were to go “are the things in your life that will make you great. Go to, and forget Me, my son Jay, knowing that you are a child of God the allmighty. Go and grow to be like Me, now you are like Me almost, yet unexperienced and untried. Go to, I will lead you back to me. I have prepared a way for all men to return to my presence. Using these gifts and these problems equally will teach you how you can return to me. I know the beginning from the end, I am the Alpha and the Omega, the way the truth and the light. Your Elder Brother, whom you have loved and known these aeons shall speak for me, as My intermediary. He is also your advocate with me. Yet, I will not leave you comfortless, for I will send you the Holy Ghost, a lamp unto your feet. Go to now, go to your birth and to your forgetfulness. This life will be one where darkness will blind you, passions will dull you, appetites will feel unslaked, and hope replaced by despair—yet, if you will, you can find a glimpse of your Heavenly Home, if you seek me out. Seek me and you shall find me, as the compass turns to the true north, so shall ye find me. If you look towards me in everything, not just when you have need, I will lead you.

Go to, with these problems to juxtapose your talents and enlarge your capacity. These things which the world calls odious will you call blessings when we meet again.” In my minds eye I can see him hugging me and weeping, knowing that some of his children will never understand, that I might not understand, and that even his valliant ones, the warriors, could even lose hope and fail. Yet I know He loves each one of us, and He loves me, and he wants me to choose and to grow. And so I grow.

I choose to this day be exceptional. I choose to make my life into something that He would be proud of—when the mists of darkness enshroud my minds eye, when the crippling niggles of self doubt assuage me, when the winds and waves toss and threaten to sink me, I can feel inside of me a voice commanding me to “Be still!”

I am a child of God. He knows me. He knows what I can be, he knows my wealth and my potential, greater than all the treasures of the earth. I was bought for, paid for my the blood and life of the Son of God! Lo, each of us was bought by the life of the Son of God. Even if we don’t believe it, even if our hope is dead, and our passions are biting us oh so fiercely. You and I are known. We were sent here not to fail, but to be great. Our Father, our spiritual genetic sire, created us. We have greatness all throughout ourselves! It is so much a part of us--as much a part of the self as one's own leg or arm. It is a limb we may never recognize, never develop and exercise. But it is there.

We were not created when two rocks struck together, we didn’t ooze out of the primordial slime. We were spiritually begotten, and we wear a veil that witholds our sight from the presence of Heaven, which is in reality all around us.

Our Father wants us to succeed in becoming even like He is. His hope and love and desire is for this. Oh my Father, thou that dwellest in the high and glorious place, let me feel thy love and thy hope for me, one of your sons, this day and every day.

2 comments:

AspenLeaf said...

Couldn't have said it any better. Press on with steadfastness in Christ, endure to the end (that is, make progress), and you'll receive your crown. Love ya.

Mandi said...

Jay, you were born to be a writer. You have been given an awesome talent, one that you so effectively used here. This post is incredibly inspiring ... it made me want to do better, to find that greatness that Heavenly Father gave me as one of his children. Thank you for reminding me of who I am. Not that I really forgot, but sometimes I lose focus. We love and miss you (and that family of yours, too).